I opened my mind to test the waters and drink you in. You would have preferred to swim in the sea of my parted legs. Instead, I opened my mouth to question your intentions. And you shut me out. If I continued to shut you out, would you still be at my beck and call? Or would you praise the harlot and give her rings of silver and gold adorned with diamonds and inscribed with oaths. Lust at first sight. ”What are you doing tonight?” You inquired that of her. He doesn’t want her, they said. He’s not that shallow, they said. Break the ice, they said. ”Would you like to go out?” I asked. And you laughed and dodged and threw it in my face. The force of the push made me fall back… I lost my footing and fell over the edge of the pool. You did not try to save me from drowning in the deep end. Right then and there, I had to learn to swim. Wildly, I kicked. My eyes burned from the chlorine and the salt. But I kept them open. I had to make it to the surface. Sadly, I wasn’t going anywhere. I was just making myself tired. So I balled into a fetal position and hugged myself. I buried my face into the space between my knees and my chest. I held myself tightly. And then… after moments… I bobbed to the surface. By some miracle, I made it to the surface. I was alive. The Instructor asked me if I wanted to continue with the lesson. The high dive would be next. I am afraid of drowning… I have witnessed it happen and I don’t want to be the next victim in the pool. But I could avoid it all if I just learned to swim.
I have a blog.
I don’t know why I’ve been acting like I don’t.
She sits there and stares and waits and prays. And God listens. No meat and no drink, but she still waits to taste the richness of dark chocolate on her tongue. Smooth and clean and sweet. Yet bitter. An acquired taste that she does not mind because it is nothing new to her. Any chocolate that isn’t at least a bit bitter isn’t real. Milk fats and added sugars and processed vanilla. God sends crows with manna in their beaks. God sends rain for fresh drinking water. She sits there and stares and waits and prays. And God listens. No meat and no drink, but she waits to taste the richness of dark chocolate on her tongue. The bread was warm and sweet, like the way Auntie made them fresh when she came to visit Grandpa. The rain water was cool and fresh and sweet, a memory of playing in summer rains and pretending to eat lemon drops and gumdrops. Add a little more honey to it. The colors become saturated with thick, sticky liquid and are tinged with yellows, oranges, golds, rare blues… She remembers the taste but denies herself the fulfillment of partaking in the meal. Instead she calculates the arrival of her delivery and starves herself to make the treat all the sweeter. But the delivery man has arrived with her red, heart-shaped box days late. The bread has molded. The water has been absorbed into the ground. But she was (and is) too distracted by her package to care. The red, heart-shaped box is full of an assortment, nothing specific. She tries them one by one. The first was some type of chocolate-covered toffee. It was annoyingly chewy and it stuck to her teeth. She ignored the rest that looked like the chocolate-covered toffee. The second was a truffle. Usually, she liked truffles, but this time, the temperature was too warm. The truffle spilled all over her white dress and stained it. She decided to avoid the rest of the truffles. The third was a dark chocolate with a surprise in the middle - a cherry. She was deceived by the coating and bit into the chocolate-covered cherry. Its syrup filled her mouth instantly. The taste was a manufactured sweetness that she did not like. She found a napkin and immediately spat out the treat. There were more chocolates in the box, but she was tired. Three failed attempts. No meat. No drink. No bread. No water. No chocolate. Where are the notes of silky sweetness amidst the bitterness of life?
she did a lot of things wrong. so wrong…
I am convinced that she tried to murder my plant…
I can’t do roommates…
Dropped phone with cracked screen
Swipe the broken glass and bleed
This is just my luck