Thank you for reconnecting me to the real world. With real problems. And real beauty. And real laughs. And “real” “sex.” And real friends. And real connections. And real feelings. And “true love.”
Thank you for allowing me to plug back in.
From one matrix to another, I swap pills for kisses for reblogs and likes. And you make me feel like I am free again. Like I am whole again. Because the internet tells no lies. It tells me that I am not alone. So I do not feel alone. It tells me that I am not alone. So I am not alone. I am complete with carpal tunnel, dry eyes, and passing hours. This is life.
But again I ask, am I living or alive?
Yes, I am existing. And I am blessed with life. But am I living or alive?
Lots of life has been happening. Sorry for my absence. Had my heart broken… then stomped on… then forgotten… then found and thrown away… Had my pride toyed with… grad school application process is a female dog… still trying to keep my head up… Had my time toyed with… well… having, not had… that sucks monkey butt… And sometimes, people just suck.
But. Life doesn’t stop. So I have to figure out how to not just stay afloat, but to enjoy the waves, smooth and rough.
I need more prayer in my life.
I need more time for self-reflection and meditation.
I need to surround myself with the right energies.
I need to uplift myself.
I’ll be back… later. Give me until Thanksgiving to get my life.
Eric Roberson - Been In Love ft. Phonte
This… this is truth.
Today is my birthday ^_^
Technically, you already know. You would be a fool to not know. But I am worried about saying it first.
Technically, you said it first a long time ago. You used it to explain your strange behavior. But I didn’t know if I could trust it then.
Still, the words were said. So should it matter if we say them again? Should I care if I am the bold one this time? Again?
It’s just that it’s getting harder for me to hold it in. It’s much too easy to see. And I feel it in our exchanges of breath.
I say that you already know. And you say that you haven’t forgotten. I guess… before I say it… I want to know if your first time telling me was real.
I say it for my health, because it makes me feel good. But why did you say it those years ago? And why did you stop?
Tell me so that I can know. Tell me so that I can decide. Tell me so that I know whether or not order matters.